I meant to write a piece of the Flyers game (and i will tomorrow) but what the Texans did is so unbelievably stupid that it takes priority. I don't even know what to say, i'm mostly horrified for Houston fans who have to deal with a disaster of a franchise in a great football market (There is not group of people more opposite to me than Texans, but even i respect their love for football).

Despite having 4 top ten picks in 5 years (the fith year they had the 16th pick), the team has show little to know improvement. Their problems, poor offensive line, inconsistent defense, no development from David Carr, seem clear to everyone BUT the brass in Houston.

And not drafting Bush makes a mess of all the mock drafts. Assuming the Saints don't trade the second pick, they will probably have to take either D'Brickashaw Ferguson or Vernon Davis (i like Davis here actually, its way to high for him, but i think he is a perfect fit for New Orleans and Drew Brees. If they trade out of the spot and drop a little they may still be able to get him).
The Saints say they will take Bush, but than they would probably have to trade Deuce McAllister, and most likely get 75 cents to the dollar for him. Ugh i can't even look at the board because of the mess this makes

Ideally, The Saints will swap with the packers, move to the fifth spot, where they can choose between Ferguson, Davis, or even AJ Hawk (WAY to high for a white linebacker if you ask me). The Packers draft Bush, Favre has a HUGE year (but still throws double digit interceptions). Than the Titans take Leinart (i prefer young for the Titans, but i really think Norm Chow will get his way), followed by the Jets taking Feguson, the Saints take Hawk or Davis, the niners take the other player. Thats the best i can guess, its probably way wrong. [ Read More ]

What if we were all robots...would art look like this?

If you don't know, here's how to tell. If you are color blind, these pics will look pretty much the same



If you think this is as hysterical as I do, support the site and buy a tee-shirt with it by clicking here.

Santo - "Paul, you can just give me a ride there; I will take the ambulance home..."

For reference, look at pictures from his 21st birthday last year.

Here is yet another case of a company with money harassing a little guy to stop GIVING his product away for free. Apparently, a company called KAM sells software that interfaces between model railroads and your computer. There is also Ben Jacobsen that gives away software that does the same thing AND it is open source. Well KAM sent him an invoice for $200,000 saying that because of his infringement on their patents, he owes them $30/user of his software.

But it turns out his software predates their patents by 6 months.

Back in MY day, all we had were letters and numbers to make computer art.

Here's a video on how young Japanese girls learn how to speak Engrish

Of course you need a few pre-requesit medical conditions like pyloric stenosis to qualify. The new diet's spokesmodel weighs 101 pounds. Sign up today!

But apparently, people in Arizona don't want you to eat there.

Here's a fun game to get in the spirit of closing the border. Before you crucify me for being racist or nationalist or whatever, just know that being in computer science, like 60% of my fellow grad students are immigrants. EVERY one that I have talked to is against the presence of ILLEGAL aliens.

Here are the results from my quiz (the genders are reversed but it is pretty damned close to my favorite):

Find your own pose!

We all have guilty pleasures. They hide in Ben and Jerry's containers in the freezer, or on DVD shelves between the Godfather and Pulp Fiction, where you'll find Jeepers Creepers 2 or A Knights Tale. Sometimes the guilty pleasures manifest themselves at the worst t ime, like when you get into your car with friends and realize you left the Avril Lavigne CD in the player, blasting on 11.

I'm not talking about cult favorites like Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Star Wars, i'm talking Charmed reruns on TNT after Law and Order, you know the type of television show you click off real fast when someone walks into the room like it was porno. And in reality, you wish it was, because at least you could explain that (its been awhile). There is no explaining singing and dancing at a red light to "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys.

So i'll save everyone the trouble of walking in on me at the wrong time, (That time being sunday night from about 9:00-11:00 i don't know the actual schedule, because i am just attracted by some mysterious force to flip on VH1]

I love "so noTORIous" starring Tori Spelling. (continued by clicking the more button, its called a hook kids) [ Read More ]

This post is dedicated to Jay Fenner

...until I saw THESE pong shots. (remember that the game is Beirut. "Beer Pong" is played on a ping pong table with paddles)

This crazy-Christian lady wants to ban Harry Potter books, which she has never read, because they promote demonic activity. Don't let Sierra get a hold of her...

Well...the good news is that my traffic has just jumped quite a bit (even before Santo went online with his Villanovan articles). The bad news is that some of it is now from spammers that are posting links to their websites in my comments sections. They do this so that when google searches my page, they get references from me(which raises their page ranks on google.com).

Bottom line is that a shitload of IP addresses got banned and now if you post a comment, you need to type in the letters in the picture below the text box (it is technology called captcha).

So don't forget that when it doesn't seem to let you post comments.

Now, our roundball attention returns to the rotting corpse laying flat on the hardwood of the Wachovia Center where we once rushed, danced, and gave CPR to a dying sport in Philadelphia. The Sixers have been caught between changing eras, after lameduck coaches Randy Ayers and Chris Ford (ooh, that might get me in some trouble with the Alumni committee) Jim O’Brien brought a tougher defense, and a stagnant offense. Result? Boring team, quick exit to the Pistons in the playoffs.

This season, Maurice Cheeks created a more up-tempo style, relying on the play making ability of Allen Iverson, who averaged more points (33) and more assists (over seven) than the season he won the MVP. Result? Brief bouts of exciting scoring, followed by soul-sucking fourth quarter leads blown because the team doesn’t have the talent to keep up when the opposition plays defense, and doesn’t play enough defense to protect a lead.

I'll finish this post later, but i figured proof that im going to be actually writing more sports stuff in this space should be enough.....and i'll be editing and adding to a lot of stuff. Make sure to click the more button, cause all my stuff is long and i can't post it all or Eric will kill me... [ Read More ]

I wanted to have something posted that was unpublished (or in this case unpublishable) but i had my thesis due today. I still found time for this catastrophe however, which is documented evidence that my thesis ruined my mind and i am now clinically insane
4:00am after i finished my thesis. oscr457: mg its jesse and her caffeine addictuion, right?

Vertigo972: zack encourages cheating
Vertigo972: its called "jesse's song"
Vertigo972: (look it up
Vertigo972: )
Vertigo972: and bow to my vast knowlege of all things
Vertigo972: jesse you're a big dyke
Vertigo972: slater you're a meathead brillo mullet moron
Vertigo972: kelly you are a goddess and lisa i'd bang you and than
never talk to youi again
oscr457: wow, you're quite the saved by the bell slut

......if you read it while watcing the episode (im so excited, im so excited, im so scared) it sinks up like dark side of the moon and wizard of oz [ Read More ]

His tongue is over twice as long as the average tongue. Right now it amuses his buddies. Soon it will amuse a long list of ladies.

Back in February, a CBS undercover report exposed the problems with trying to get a complaint form from many Floridian police stations. Well, now the reporter in charge of the investigation has his personal information posted on a police website with a "Be on the Lookout for" heading, as if he were now a criminal.

Hopefully my posting of this won't have them looking for me, Frank Iosue.

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. [ Read More ]

I know you have ALL wondered. Well here is some anecdotal evidence. Sounds like it is time for some real scientific trials. Now all I need to do is find some willing hobo's.

Remember the 250,000 superball commercial that I linked to way-back-when? Well Battlefield 2 has a parody of it.

Here is the real Ad:



Here is the BattleField2 Ad:

TO: David Montgomery (cheapskate@phillies.com), Pat Gillick (standpat@phillies.com), Philadelphia Fans (whendotheEaglesstart?@phillies.com)

FROM: Santo “The Scout (not the crappy Brendan Fraser movie, the type that recognizes talent)” Caruso (santo.caruso@villanova.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: Marlin Fishin’

Hey guys, haven’t come back from Florida yet, and by the 5-7 start it looks like you’re still at spring training too. But like Jimmy Buffet says, “weather is here, wish you were beautiful.”

With that said, I got a chance to catch the best minor league team around and boy are they loaded with talent. A shortstop with five tool skills that could make him the next Derek Jeter, a third basemen who looks like a poor man’s Albert Pujols and a lefty starter that has Cy Young potential and he’s only 24!!!
[ Read More ]

THI is glad to welcome our new opinions contributor, Santo.



I am sure he will dazzle us with his class and razor sharp wit.

Paul keeps asking how I have a girlfriend. Well here's how.

Yes yes...muslim fundamentalists kill people with suicide bombs. But Christian fundamentalists can be JUST as scary.

Check it out.

Scenario One

Samuel L. Jackson discovers a new superbreed of snake, developed by the United States military, on board the plane. Quickly realizing that this snake could destroy the world, and knowing he would rather die than risk bringing this monster to the mainland, he decides to crash the plane into an offshore nitroglycerin plant.

...

Read More.

College campuses (should it be campi?) have been busily jostling for placement in this year's Political Correctness award. This year's big winner is Yale for admitting former Taliban ambassador, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi, in the name of diversity (apparently Yale thinks the Taliban view on women's rights was A-OK). WTG Yale!

Tell me what YOU think...

meoOOWWW!

This guy painted different parts of an animation all over a city and took pics of them. Then he compiled it into this animation clip. Pretty cool.

Well...now you can buy 10 meat eating plants for $21.

Wait, what? How are pics of Easter going up on Good Friday? It must be a miracle...

You're probably not going to see either of these ads on TV anytime soon.

No no...not English people...the English Language. Check out these poems...

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose

Read More.

I appears that back in the day, the extent of Superman's vision powers was in question.

...

I realize that the initial justification for creating the Visions — "It's fun to draw beams coming from his eyes" — is a valid one, and has certainly contributed to artist morale. Heat Vision, X-Ray Vision, Telescopic Vision, and even Microscopic Vision are well and good, and have, in any event, become firmly associated with the character. However, it seems that in recent issues, certain authors have taken to adding Visions in a haphazard and even whimsical fashion. For example:

...

Read More.

Well here we go again. Apparently a grant proposal investigating the detriment of Creationism on the theory of evolution was rejected because the grant writer could not produce enough evidence proving the theory of evolution is real.



I guess they should have included the Flying Spagetti Monster in their proposal to be fair.

I just added a bunch of photos of me and Sierra (including recently found photos from the Philadelphia Car Show back in February).

Butter isn't just for rubbing on bread...

Popular Science reports on the scientists that spend lots of money on proving common sense things like: Smoking costs money.

Yeah...You read that correctly. There was a study done where subjects would have sex in an MRI and pics were taken.



Who can identify the penis?

The broom was not enough to defeat the 4 foot reptile, so he switched to a garden hose (too close for missiles, switching to guns).

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with John Shirey:

John - "When I was a kid, I found a large snapping turtle in a pond and we fought for like 3 hours."

Me - "3 hours? Did it get away?"

John - "That's its shell right there on the wall."

Or maybe it is in Arizona and named in honor of Clifton Bennett.

Recognize the guy in these photos?





Here's how I made them.

So what does it do? It uses the arm to throw monkey shit at the researchers.

If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's hearing about how hard it is to have a baby. I hate to break the news to you, but people have been having babies for literally billions of years...

Read More.

Well here's a new one. Following in the footsteps of his Christian counterpart, Jerry Falwell, a senior cultural advisor in Iran's Education Ministry says that the Tom and Jerry cartoon is Jewish propaganda. Apparently Jerry, the mouse, represents the cute and cuddly Jews.



"It should be noted that mice are very cunning ... and dirty."

In fact, according to this study published in the American Health Journal, some people who were prayed for actually did worse in heart bypass surgery. Maybe they were praying to the wrong god...

I know this is a VERY bold statement (considering the Flyers once fought the Canadians BEFORE THE GAME STARTED) but you HAVE to watch this video if you like hockey violence...err...I mean "family entertainment".

According to a textbook in India, donkeys are better than wives in many, many areas.

This husband's wife keeps her 3 month old and 2 year old in bed with them at night. Now he is on strike on top of their house. Now, I don't know about the 3 month old. Perhaps the kid should be in a bassinet next to the bed or something but the 2 year old needs to be in his on room WITHOUT a pacifier.

It is well known that if you decide to not use Union labor in Philadelphia for ANY reason, they will protest the job site. Just ask MTV. Well this is a new one. The plumbers union in Philadelphia is against the use of waterless urinals in the building of the Comcast building. While it will save millions of gallons of water per year, it will mean less pipes and as a result, less work for them.

Vote UNION! Fuck the environment!

Check out this magazine cover photoshop contest.

This is a terrific article on pseudo-science.

....

3. The scientific effect involved is always at the very limit of detection. Alas, there is never a clear photograph of a flying saucer, or the Loch Ness monster. All scientific measurements must contend with some level of background noise or statistical fluctuation. But if the signal-to-noise ratio cannot be improved, even in principle, the effect is probably not real and the work is not science.

....

Read More.

5 women got sex changes in Saudi Arabia so that they would be allowed to vote and drive a car all by themselves. What a great society!

Ok...this is a wierd way of saying this sentence so bear with me. Tomorrow morning at 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1am, the date and time(in the US) will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06

How about THEM apples?

David M. Bresnahan
April 4, 2006

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the USA border into Mexico, and I need to make some arrangements. [ Read More ]

Make peeing fun!

Pretty soon, people may be purchasing pet dragons!

Yet another brilliant contribution from Frank. I present the world's first peter pan fashion model.