A man tried to commit suicide in Mexico by jumping in front of a train. The trains were stopped...the man was arrested...and then beaten to death by the police.

Well Missy better watch out. It turns out that, in some countries, having vigorous sex leading to the death of the older participant can land you in jail!

The list itself is just OK. Where the REAL pearls of wisdom come from are the comments section. WOW. To all those people thinking about marriage, READ THE COMMENTS OF THIS ARTICLE!

- Life is sexually transmitted
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help
but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax
cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it look normal.
- We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions
and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration.

The Girlfriend Trainer - video powered by Metacafe

Think it is a coincedence I left the country before posting this video?

2 workers rigged a recount in order to avoid a more thorough investigation. For some reason, the penalty for undermining our society is only 6 to 18 months in jail. Shouldn't it be 6 to 18 years?

Paul, take note. Selling things like THIS is how to become a millionare.

Well I am shoving off on my first official deployment on the ***** ***** ********* ******. I should be back on ***************** after visiting ****** ******** and possibly ***********, *****. In the meantime, you'll be lucky if you get any updates so if you do, be thankful. While I am gone, you can look at the above photo and, like the old Highlight's magazine picture, try and identify what's wrong with it.

Edited by DON Security.

Although I generally buy warranties on my Dell computers(I have had mostly good luck), the old saying goes, only stupid people buy extended warranties. Here is the story of a guy that bought a ginormous TV from Best Buy and the tale of them trying not to honor their service plan agreement. Actually...the title of this message should be don't ever buy anything larger than a dvd from Best Buy.

It looks like the absurd rules of the TSA have gotten to Fed Ex as they are refusing to ship containers of water or even empty air as long as the words on the label look dangerous. Certainty, pictured above, was bottles of tap water.

New legislation in Iran has made it the place for horny Mullahs to visit. Iran is trying to assert itself as the new entertainment capital of the Middle East by allowing the use of temporary marriages(one hour) so any Sheik enjoying a night on the town can legally rape...err...copulate with his 9-year old wife of the moment.

Cheating Wife - video powered by Metacafe

This one is for Paul...

Following on the heals of last week's best martial arts fights, this one includes the Matrix, Rocky and of course, Optimus Prime vs. Megatron.

A woman induced labor on Friday so that her husband would not miss the Bears/Saints game. Of course this act ALSO knocked her out of mother of the year contention.

Scientists have confirmed what guys have been saying for years. Girls think that guys are more attractive, if they see another girl appearing to be attracted to them. Just like Kristina and Paul here.

Interesting gallery of photoshopped statues.

The TSA has declared that checking cargo on planes would draw resources away from screening dangerous thinks like water and yogurt. I guess not checking cargo, AT ALL, is much more secure than checking it instead of my dangerous shampoo.

Better not go swimming in the Potomac. It looks like they found a whole lotta chemicals involved in the spontaneous changing of gender of fish in the water.

I know...she left 3 weeks ago. Well I have been busy and blah, blah, blah. Just be happy they are done ;)

Literally BoingBoing the movie.

Here's a funny bunch of post-sex pose photos along with text that describes the situation.

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

This past saturday, Scientology Corp opened a huge Brainwashing center in downtown Berlin. Currently, Germany does not recognize Scientology Corp as a religion and one official was quoted as saying, "Scientology has become a very totalitarian, fascist system in the meantime, whose only purpose is to make money."

And Germans know how to spot a facist a mile away.

Back in the good ole days of the 17th Century, the French government did it right. When cloth button-makers threatened the bottom line of the established, umm...NORMAL button-maker's guild, they stepped in and stopped them:

Excerpt:

The government, indignant that an innovation should threaten a settled industry, imposes a fine on the cloth-button makers. But the wardens of the button guild are not yet satisfied. They demand the right to search people's homes and wardrobes and fine and even arrest them on the streets if they are seen wearing these subversive goods.

Does this sound familiar to something going on today? A new technology(the internet) threatening the bottom line of established but, out-dated business models(the big recording labels)?

Read More.

Maxim has put together a pretty good bunch of martial arts movie highlights. Although I appreciate that Karate Kid gets a mention, should the Matrix have been left out in its stead?

So you feel like having a fling with the poolboy/secretary? Better not get caught if you live in Michigan. Why? Adultery is still a felony there. Not a big one. But it is. But what IS a big deal is that Michigan ALSO has another crime on the books called "first-degree criminal sexual conduct" which states that:

...a person is guilty of first-degree criminal sexual conduct whenever "sexual penetration occurs under circumstances involving the commission of any other felony."

What's the penalty for first-degree criminal sexual conduct? It carries a maximum penalty of LIFE IN PRISON.

This video is causing such a stir in India that the country is threatening to block Youtube unless they remove it. Can you identify the guy being portrayed? Once you do, it is kinda funny. 30 seconds after that, it will get boring and you can move on in life.

If someone did the same thing with Jesus, would I have posted it? Only if Italy threatened to block Youtube.

This is the story of a guy who went to work at Burger King for 15 days. You can read the original story in this thread but I have copied it all here because each episode is broken up over lots of pages and is a pain in the ass to read. VERY funny tho. Here it begins:

My 15 eventful days of employment at burger king (colin)
And why I will never eat there again.....
-----------------------------------------------------
This is a recount of my 15 days of employment at the local burger king. After working there, I must warn all of you to never eat at a fast food joint where the manager is an obese tub of lard named Al, of if your meal was prepared by a short, middle aged man named Raul..
---------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 1 - Wow, strong pervert

I had been told to purchase a very special type of shoe, with extra strong traction. I soon knew why. Upon entering the back of my local Burger King, I quickly lost my balance and nearly fell on the thick layer of grease that coated the floor.

As I took in my surroundings, and tried to discern a strange odor lingering in the air, the manager exited his office. He was taller than I was, and must have weighed at least 6 times as much as me. He spotted me and motioned me into his office.

"Hey, you're the new guy, right? Come in here."

One one side of his office was a set of television screens. On those screens, you could see the various employees doing their jobs. This was where the manager sat to monitor the employees at all times. On the opposite side of the office sat a computer. I thought that it looked like it was barely used. I would later find out how wrong I was. [ Read More ]

In Britain, trophy wives are coming under new scrutiny as they are now being dubbed "toxic" wives. Being hot, vacant and useless is no longer going to cut it, ladies. To quote the insightful song, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."

A guy went into a Walmart and was so digusted by it that he had to take pictures. Here is the address:

Wal-Mart Supercenter #1244
3027 Wade Hampton Blvd.
Taylors, SC 29687
(864) 292-8155

File this under the "I bet you never knew" category. Back in the 60's, some pranksters photocopied Playboy Playmate spreads into the Apollo checklist book (on fireproof paper). Doing so now would get NASA sued for sexual harassment.

Here's a quick clip of the namesake of the US Navy's flagship bitch-slapping a woman...and paying the bloody price.

I know I have slacked with the updates BUT I have been in San Diego for a week (unplanned). ANYWAYS, I found out that I may be visiting some foreign ports...like this one:

That's RIGHT! Listen to the PETA and stop eating cows. This is a picture of lab grown meat. Scientists have taken a small portion of muscle from a goldfish and grew it in a test-tube of sorts. They then breaded it and served it. TASTY.

Now ask PETA what to do with all the useless cows that we will no longer want. Shall we let them go wild?

Although he was born on November 10, the entire country is celebrating Martin Luther Day. Congrats all you Lutherans! I have today off.

What is this post about? Well. This guy thought it would be funny if people were to make a post that links the RIAA with terrorism. If enough people do it, maybe the RIAA will rise in the ranks and be the number one search item for the word Terrorism.

Bailey was originally in this video but we felt his discourse on post-modernism wasn't as cute as some of these dogs.

The Power Of Video Editing Video - video powered by Metacafe

From the chest of a 10 year old boy to a pair of nice jubblies.

Although I disagree (I love it), I can understand why HE hates it. This is for Gianmarc.

I do not like them on a website.
I do not like them day or night.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Imagine an afterlife where Angelina is the Virgin and Walmart is hell. Sounds pretty backwards to me.

Here is a nifty website that helps illiterates like myself to improve grammar and punctuation.

IE7


Firefox


Interestingly enough. Opera doesn't need to advertise(they make pretty much the only functional embedded browser as well as the only browser for Wii and the best one for computers).

Here's the story of a guy in jail being charged with assault for targeting another inmate with his own biological weapons. In a related story, charges against Paul are being investigated.

Not bad for waiting until the last minute.

This is my favorite

32. Just 30 minutes of continuous kissing can diminish the body's allergic reaction to pollen, relaxing the body and reducing production of histamine, a chemical cell given out in response to allergens.

Read the entire list.

There is no better bowling than with a rollercoaster.