- Life is sexually transmitted
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich.
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help
but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax
cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it look normal.
- We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions
and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Paul, take note. Selling things like THIS is how to become a millionare.

Here's a funny bunch of post-sex pose photos along with text that describes the situation.

This is the story of a guy who went to work at Burger King for 15 days. You can read the original story in this thread but I have copied it all here because each episode is broken up over lots of pages and is a pain in the ass to read. VERY funny tho. Here it begins:

My 15 eventful days of employment at burger king (colin)
And why I will never eat there again.....
-----------------------------------------------------
This is a recount of my 15 days of employment at the local burger king. After working there, I must warn all of you to never eat at a fast food joint where the manager is an obese tub of lard named Al, of if your meal was prepared by a short, middle aged man named Raul..
---------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 1 - Wow, strong pervert

I had been told to purchase a very special type of shoe, with extra strong traction. I soon knew why. Upon entering the back of my local Burger King, I quickly lost my balance and nearly fell on the thick layer of grease that coated the floor.

As I took in my surroundings, and tried to discern a strange odor lingering in the air, the manager exited his office. He was taller than I was, and must have weighed at least 6 times as much as me. He spotted me and motioned me into his office.

"Hey, you're the new guy, right? Come in here."

One one side of his office was a set of television screens. On those screens, you could see the various employees doing their jobs. This was where the manager sat to monitor the employees at all times. On the opposite side of the office sat a computer. I thought that it looked like it was barely used. I would later find out how wrong I was. [ Read More ]

File this under the "I bet you never knew" category. Back in the 60's, some pranksters photocopied Playboy Playmate spreads into the Apollo checklist book (on fireproof paper). Doing so now would get NASA sued for sexual harassment.

Here's the story of a guy in jail being charged with assault for targeting another inmate with his own biological weapons. In a related story, charges against Paul are being investigated.