"Time for traffic and transit on the 2's. We've got a MAJOR delay in downtown involving a truck and a whale..."

All you need to do is die mid-flight, and British Airways will upgrade you to first class...even if the guy sitting next to your corpse objects! That's the way to beat the system.

A brave soul is protecting us all by censoring any naked statues in Norway that he/she can find.

Marge: Mm, but that's Michelangelo's David. It's a masterpiece.
Helen: [gasp] It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil.

British mechanic, who somehow still has a girlfriend, loves to fuck cars.

NOTE - He doesn't like to fuck car-owners, like most other mechanics. He likes to fuck the cars themselves.