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This website is the definition of Random Wacky Shit

01/31/08
Just...wow...that's random

There really is no way to describe this Ikea like website. Just click on the link and see for yourself. You too, Sierra.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Global warming may not be the reason coral all over the world is dieing

01/30/08
We should take this horrible looking lady's as the ideal example of sunscreen usage...

Scientists have discovered the alarming possibility that rising ocean temperatures may not be the reason coral around the world are dieing off. It could be people's usage of sunscreen.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Scientists can cure autism...and CAUSE it?!?

01/30/08
Cats will soon be as cool as dogs...

Reduced social interaction and ultrasonic communication in a mouse model of monogenic heritable autism. WHHAAaaaa? That is the title of the paper that describes how scientists have been able to induce autism in mice. Using the same techniques, they can reverse it. Why would anyone want to induce austism?

Think of autism like Ritalin on crack. Autistic symptoms include hyperfocusing on mundane tasks and not interacting with others (like cats grooming themselves...or doing anything). Being able to induce and then undo autism could increase personal productivity and allow employers to rid their employees of annoying family obligations since they would alienate themselves from everyone.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Awww...zoo keeper teaches endangered species how to swim...

01/30/08
The importance of this picture has nothing to do with the zoo keeper's bikini-clad whoo whoo.

Teaching tigers how to swim is like teaching ducks how to fly (or swim). They do it already. But teaching monkees? Tapirs? Pretty impressive.
Category: Awww
Posted by: sleze

Men shouldn't meddle in crocodile love-play

01/29/08
Crickey, look at the size of 'em!

Papua New Guinean coastal communities are being terrorized by horny crocodiles.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

CDC says, "Oh yeah...we forgot a small part of our study of FEMA trailers..."

01/29/08
FEMA's family sized coffins

CBS is reporting that FEMA put pressure on the CDC to supress any conclusions as to the long-term effects of the formaldehyde that saturated the trailers given to Katrina survivors. Most likely those conclusions would have included words like: DEATH, CANCER, UNHEALTHY, HORROR, etc.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Don't mess with corrupt school principals/school boards

01/28/08
SKINNNER!

From stories that I read where teachers are forced to give kids the answers to standardized tests, to stories told to me FIRST HAND about principals reversing failing grades to increase graduation rate, nothing really surprises me about corruption in our public schools.

Like the story of McKinley High School senior Jayvonna Kincannon. She attempted to speak to the school board in favor of the suspiciously-fired woman's basketball coach, Michelle Stiles. Well, McKinley Principal Crystal Barton was having none of that. Possibly in an attempt to keep the nature of the firing of the coach under wraps, Barton had Kincannon suspended from school for 7 weeks. The reasons were that Kincannon allegedly cut school (which is under dispute), used a cell phone at school (which she admits) and wore a sweatshirt to school with a hood.

I'm sure parents of students at the Buffalo area school feel safer that such a bad influence is having her future endangered because of some vendetta between Barton and Stiles(including any supporters).
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

How NOT to run a promotion

01/25/08
What do you mean you don't use a guitar?

A guy won the Lollapalooza ‘Last Band Standing’ competition and part of his prize package included $10k in Gibson music equipment. Well, he won in 2006 and STILL hasn't received his prize, thanks to Don Pitts. I know that Citizen's Bank promotions scoffs at such shoddy work. Gianmarc! Burn your Gibsons in protest!
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Newest Niche Dating Website

01/25/08
Did you have another shower fight, dear?

While Ashley Madison is a website that is morally bankrupt (fixing up singles with unfaithful married people), Conjugal Harmony will arrange for you to meet "hot" lonely, desparate, convicts looking for a little love. You'll never have to worry about neediness because...uh-oh...visiting time is over!
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

The North shall rise again - with the help of the FSM

01/25/08
Weeee DOGGIES!  No ape was ma' grandma's grandMA!

Apparently "the South" stops somewhere around Ocala, FL. While trying to draft the new statewide curriculum for science, several northern Florida counties have protested the teaching of evolution with the EXCLUSION of "other theories". Here's a quote from Ken Hall, a school board member of Madison County:

"I'm a Christian. And I believe I was created by God, and that I didn't come from an amoeba or a monkey."

Pastafarians are expected to support their fundamentalist Christian brethren and insist that along with the inclusion of creationism, Florida include the teaching of the Flying Spagetti Monster.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Interesting Translation

01/24/08
Quick! Type "Heath Ledger is dead" (without the quotes) into Google translation and see what the spanish version of it is.
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

Seymour Butts

01/24/08
Richard Seymour...What?

It is being reported that Pats DE Richard Seymour head-butted a Chargers coach during the game last week. Hence, Seymour Butts...hee hee hee.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Don't lie on Faux Fox News if you're selling a book on Amazon

01/24/08
Liar 1Liar 2

So Fox News decided to tackle the important topic of nudity in video games with a hard look at the new game Mass Effect. Of course...there is about as much nudity in Mass Effect as in Nip Tuck (side boob is the most you'll get). That didn't stop the eager Cooper Lawrence from joining in one the fun and claim that more boys play video games than their dads (actually incorrect since the majority of game players are my age). Neither she nor the host actually played the game.

Well...gamers don't like it when people talk about games they obviously haven't played. They hate it less when they outright lie about them. But they LOVE it when they find out the person who is doing the lieing is ALSO trying to sell a book on Amazon. Here's an exerpt of one of the 200+ comments that appeared since the Fox News interview.

How much will this book help you with coming to peace with overachieving? About as much as there is sex in mass effect. Which isn't much.

I'm pretty much an expert on sexy women books, I know all about them and my friend white-blonde-chick has done a survey with his peers and came to the conclusion that this book sucks. I'm sure you have some fine evidence to prove me otherwise, but unfortunately I'm going to stick to the facts and go with my friend white-blonde-chick. Oh yea did i mention I just got my masters in bullshet?

This book contains full frontal nudity on the cover!!!!, you can clearly see two naked woman arms and a woman face. Also the sex scenes are fully interactive IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HEH-HEH. This book plays out like a goosebumps novel for teenage girls so they can dream about sex before they even develop a brain, because teenagers don't have brains yet. Pretty sick, how can they even market this stuff? This book should have an adult only rating and you must be ID'd before you buy it, and if you try to buy it at borders they should yell at you because you might be buying it for your child. Because you never know. It could happen.

SPOILER ALERT****

This book contains full frontal nudity and will posses your children with evil Christian spirits if they read it aloud. Its the necronomicon but worse, its like...Chick-nomicon as the spirits will clearly cause you to grow the sexy figure thats on the book... mmm nice curves..

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. Great song, too bad it doesn't appear in this book.

I rate this book 2 stars, one star because the fully interactive sex scene in the book and another so my post doesn't get deleted in the next '1 star sweep'.

****By the way, doesn't she just look like a piece of meat on the cover? What a Hypocrite.


Update: Amazon has been fast deleting most comments about Cooper Lawrences book, however they haven't yet decided to remove user tagging. It is interesting for Cooper that when you search Amazon's tagging (keywords users use to describe an item) for "ignorant" and "lies", Cooper's book is right at the top beating out *3* Ann Coulter books. WTG Cooper Lawrence!
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

God Hates the Joker

01/23/08
THIS Joker was no fag...

Those wacky folks from Westboro Baptist Church are at it again. Now that they had their ASSES handed to them in court for protesting military funerals(to the tune of $10.9 million), they are switching to softer targets. Apparently the "God Hates Fags" organization doesn't know the difference from reality and make-believe so they are going to protest the funeral of Heath Ledger for his faggery in Brokeback Mountain.
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

Bailey is America's Most popular dog for the 17th straight year

01/23/08
He is SUCH a good boy!

Once again, Bailey has held his title as America's Most Popular Dog (although the website mistakenly used a pic of some yellow lab). Gary is hot on his heels at #4 and Lucian has finally broken into the rankings at #10.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Study of the obvious - Lonely people connect with their pets as if they were human

01/22/08
AAAAAaaaaaahhhhh! Blah! Blah! Gaarrrrr!!!

A new study shows that when people lack connection with other people, they create (in their heads) a human-to-human connection with objects like their pets, car and god. Anthropomorphism. I was almost going to put a pick of Will Smith and his dog from I am Legend, but I would have cried then.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Apple Macbook Air vs. Commodore SX-64

01/22/08
It's close but the Apple wins out...

A unique comparison of 2008's Macbook Air vs. 1983's Commodore SX-64 (the cutting edge portable cpu of it's day). The Apple pulls out the victory...but just barely.
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

The Fantastic Four - 1994 version

01/22/08



It's amazing what 10 years can do for a movie...
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Another reason I should get back into Hockey - Rick Nash

01/21/08


Even if you aren't into hockey, you have to appreciate the beauty in these moves.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Happy MLK day...let's reflect on racism

01/21/08
This is actually a psychology experiment...

While we remember the life of a great civil rights leader, let's take a walk down racism's memory lane at a few of the worst board games to ever be made.
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

State protesting expected surge of Mexicans looking for work...A Mexican state, that is...

01/21/08
EEpa EEPa...EEEha!  Andale'!

Arizona is about to pass a law that will punish businesses for employing illegal immigrants. Oh boy, does the Mexican state of Sonora have a problem with that.

"the legislators said Sonora...cannot handle the demand for housing, jobs and schools it will face as illegal Mexican workers here return to their hometowns without jobs or money."

The Mexican legislators had no comment when asked how they expected the Arizona municipalities to provide civil services (like education, police servicing, roads, etc.) for the non-tax-paying workers that would remain if this law isn't passed.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

How the Chinese Olympic logo was created

01/20/08
Those clever chinamen...

It's always interesting to see people's thought processes when they come up with something.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Sentance Diagram of the Preamble to the Constitution

01/18/08
Mr. Schram would be proud...

So it basically says "We do ordain and establish this Constitution." God the forefathers were wordy...
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Thereheis.com brings Allegheny Power TO ITS KNEES!

01/15/08
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

I have been looking for this clip for SO long

01/14/08


Like Paul directing the Singers at Citizen's Bank Park.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Good Old Timey Ads

01/11/08
Don't mess with Daddy's coffee

Ahhh the good old days of yesteryear when men would beat their wives if they messed up the coffee. Here's some more Ads from the Golden Age of Advertising.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Just don't ever order anything from a website in Brooklyn

01/11/08
Speak wit Tony in customa service.  Aaight?

Brooklyn used to be a haven for shady online CAMERA stores that would sell you a dirt cheap camera and then try to sell you the batteries for $150, the manual for $200, etc (and if you refused, your camera would go mysteriously out of stock). Well it looks like the same guy who handled customer service at the camera shops has moved on to NVWDirect.com (who sells high-def TVs).

So my advice is to just never buy anything online if the store is located in Brooklyn.
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

What Would Eric Do? At the Consumer Electronics Show...with a TV-B-Gone

01/11/08

My old roomates remember when I brought mine to a sportsbar on one Fall Sunday. Well, watch what happens when a TV-B-Gone is taken to a geek convention.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Allegheny Power guilty of mail fraud?

01/10/08
You don't pay and we will kill you...r power...

Here's how the scam works. Allegheny Power is sending all its customers 2 CFL light bulbs to promote efficiency (without asking them). It then adds $0.96 to your bill each month to pay for them (which is $12/year). If you refuse to pay that $0.96 on your bill, they will threaten to cut off your power (blackmail?). BTW - you can buy a 4 pack of CFLs from Lowes for $2.95.

So if you're an Alleghency customer, you might want to contact your attorney general because billing someone for something you sent them unsolicited is against federal law.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

What's wrong with this poster?

01/10/08
Don't...LOSE YOUR HEAD!

Besides being High School Musical...can you tell me what's wrong with this poster? I give you the Decapitator.
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

Never, EVER search for a domain on Network Solutions

01/10/08
Cool domain name?  Not yours...

If you are thinking about creating a website, don't EVER check if the domain is available on Network Solutions. Why? They'll steal it and force you to use them to register it (as opposed to TUCOWS or GoDaddy). If you fail to register it with them in 4 days, there is a good chance that milliseconds AFTER they release the name, a cyber-squatter will grab it up and steal it from you.

Don't believe me? Go ahead and try to register www.thereheisRULES.com (or something like that) on Network solutions. It will say it is available. Then use GoDaddy to do the same thing. It will say it is NOT available and Network Solutions owns it.

If you want to create a website, a good rule of thumb is this: don't check the availability of a web address until you are ready to buy it (and also have a few backup ideas ready). If you don't do it all at the same time, there is a good chance that someone will steal it out from under you and extort ask you to pay a premium for it.
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

Bored Colorado SWAT team raids family home to rescue kid with a bump on his head...

01/09/08
Medical emergency...bump on head!

Possibly in an attempt to justify their bloated budget, New Castle, Colorado SWAT team raided a home in the middle of the night because of a report that a kid bumped his head. When he was taken to the hospital, the doctor recommended that the kid continue his parents treatment and drink water, take a tylenol and put ice on the bruise. Garfield County Department of Social Services caseworkers admitted the injury may not have been as severe as they claimed to the judge when seeking the order for treatment.
Category: Shady Law
Posted by: sleze

New seat belt design reduces accidents by 47%

01/09/08
No more suicide by driving...
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Gigalo successfully sued for wooing away another man's wife...

01/09/08
Cheating just ain't worth it...

Yet another man successfully sued the man who stole his wife under the "alienation of affection" law that is still on the books in progressive Mississippi. The take? $750,000. The defendant appealled the decision all the way to the Supreme Court...and lost.
Category: Shady Law
Posted by: sleze

Several of the most Hilarious Album Cover Art

01/08/08
Amazingly, this version of the album art almost didn't persuade people to vote for the best...

Wow...just wow. I can't decide whether I like The Braillettes or The McDonald Sisters as the funniest cover.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Coolest pimped out wheels you've ever seen

01/08/08


Now I'm not one who normally likes LED wheels but you really need to watch this Pimpstar promo video. It gets interesting around the 1:05 mark.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

How to Rig an Election

01/07/08
Vote for the Worst

A new book by disgraced former GOP consultant Allen Raymond, How to Win Rig an Election, details all the tricks and tom-foolery you can use to beat your opponent in the next election.

In England, Hot Fuzz coppers raid bar looking for...drunks

01/07/08
Don't drink at a bar, if you know what's good for you...

Moseley Police raided a bar in Birmingham, England on the hot tip that there might be drunk people there. That's some mighty fine Police-work, Lou.
Category: Bad Cops
Posted by: sleze

Why do prescription drugs cost so much? Because that 30 second Allegra Ad cost $50k!

01/07/08
We lose money on drugs so we have to charge to advertise the successes...

The old mantra of the pharmaceutical industry is the reason they charge $100/presecription of drug x is that drugs G,H and I were failures that cost millions. But a new study has confirmed that while American drug companies spend $31 billion on those non-working drugs, they spend even more on advertising. How much more? Try $57 Billion. Yes, you read that correctly. The American pharmaceutical industry spent $57,000,000,000 on advertising. Perhaps if they did a bit less advertising, senior citizens wouldn't have to choose between their monthly drug bills and their heating bills.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

The Office for Human Research Protections actually wants to protect incompetant doctors...

01/04/08
Hi everyBODY!

Johns Hopkins had a study/program that had all participating doctors perform a simple 5-step procedure when working with Intravenous stuff. The hypothesis is that by doing these simple procedures, it would reduce the number of infections. The results so far? Infections reduced by 66% resulting in $200 MILLION saved.

So naturally the sponsoring government agency, Office for Human Research Protection, decided to kill the program: "the data gathered in testing it could put not only the patients but also the doctors at risk — by exposing how POORLY some of them follow basic infection-prevention procedures."
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Model sues Ad agency because Ad makes her look slutty

01/03/08


Interestingly enough, had she NOT sued, I never would have heard about this ad and THUS she would have protected her precious image. Show us your "O" face!
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

California takes their child annoyance laws VERY seriously

01/02/08
That's a misdemeanor

A man faces a year in jail for 2 counts of annoying children in California. Yes, I wrote that correctly. He was charged with 2 counts of annoying a child.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Rochester, MN police will ticket you for driving under the speed-limit

01/02/08
4 MPH under the speed limit?  That's a ticket!

Although the locals have posted a speed limit of 30 MPH, the state Department of Transportation set the speed limit to 40 MPH over 35 years ago. While the state law trumps the local speed limit, local cops don't care. Even though every sub-40 MPH speeding ticket will be thrown out of court, local cops vowed to keep extorting invalidly stopping and fining local drivers.
Category: Bad Cops
Posted by: sleze

Richard Branson offering Dust-hunters transit to other Universes

01/02/08
He who controls the DUST, controls the UNIVERSEs!

For the low price of 100,000, you too can book a space flight INTO the Aurora Borealis. Flights depart beginning in 2010, the year we make contact.
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

People don't like it when you sue 8-year-olds

01/01/08
SNOW PLOW! SNOW PLOW!

A guy sued an 8 year old kids for a collision on a ski slope that ended up injuring him. Now he is upset that the whole world is phoning his house, calling him a douchebag. Just because you can do something stupid that is legal, doesn't mean the rest of the world isn't gonna make you pay anyway...
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Worst fictional cities to live in...

01/01/08
I'll take a Cheesesteak wit smog...

After reading this article, I believe Cabot Cove, MA should have beaten out Gotham. These are some crappy places to live.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Happy New Year! Let's celebrate with a classy Japanese TV Show!

01/01/08


I would rather be the coin collector than the coin tosser...
Category: Japan
Posted by: sleze