Someone thought it would be a good idea to decorate a billboard with the words "All Religions are Fairy Tales." Local businesses disagree (along with their missing customers).

Think your dog is the most loyal dog ever? Read the story of Hachiko and I GUARANTEE that it will bring a tear to your eye. Skip the first two paragraphs as they are a bad attempt at humor.

As horrible as it is and as horrible as I feel, I can't stop laughing about the evil that goes into posting images like this in an epilepsy support forum. It caused several people to get migraines and go into "lockup" seizures. Horrible. (giggle)

Judge Richard Bernat of Hamilton County Municipal Court in Kentucky ordered that bond for a theft from 18 years ago be upheld. The bond? $1,000,000. The theft? $20. Yeah, that's justice.

Maybe I should change Bad Cops to Bad Law? If I get a few more posts like this, I will.

Yikes. Tom McVay, a tester for the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, testified that he walked in on Tammy Thomas, a East German US female cyclist involved with BALCO-brand steriods, while she appeared to be shaving. Other testimony described her as having "a deep voice, full beard, chest hair and even signs of male pattern baldness."

I was going to post a pic of the Playboy Bunny Halloween costumes but the above picture is better, in that, it is a non-doctored pic of Tammy Thomas from 2002.

Ever wondered what elephants see throughout a normal day? Lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) isn't far from the truth. Brought to you curtesy of a camera attached to the trunk of an elephant.

According to computers, this is the girl I should be with.

I must have pulled a fast one on Sierra. Take the quiz.

A collection of photos of food products from the advertiser and from real life. I loves me some Herring Salad!

"A University of Tennessee study suggested...that ordinary men who married attractive women were happy to bask in the glory of their partner's beauty."

You read it here ladies;it's science. Now dump that hot asshole and get with us ordinary sweethearts.

So the owner of McFearsome had his house broken into in which he had his tv, macbook and xbox 360 stolen. He reported it to the local cops who really weren't interested. Then he found the local pawn shop to which someone tried to sell the macbook and got PICTURES of the kid (seen above). The cops told him to call during the workweek. Then he bought a new xbox 360 and found that someone left him a voicemail bragging that he had stolen his stuff and that he could pay to get it back. Because they used an xbox live account, he had all the kid's contact information AND a voicemail confessing to the crime. He called the Philadelphia cops again...and they hung up on him.

Here is the owner's website.
HERE is a much more interesting link to people from the blogosphere harassing the kid into pleading with the owner for them to stop.

Now that it is Monday and this being a slam dunk case, maybe the Philadelphia Police will make this a happy ending so that I will change the category of this post.

Update: Faced with the overwhelming majority of their work being done for them by the internet, Philadelphia Police have started to do their job. The kid who sent the voicemail has returned the Xbox.

This is how:

((19*t+u-w-(u-(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w- (u-
(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-z)mod7)-7*(t+11*(19*t+u-w(u-
(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)+22*(32+2*x+2*y-(19*t+u-w-(u-
(u+8)\25)+1)\3)+15)mod30)-g)mod7)+114)\31

WHHAAAaa!?? Here is a word explanation.

I have always celebrated Easter with...you know...Easter bunnies and stuff. The custom in the Phillipines is a little different:

Every Good Friday in the predominantly Roman Catholic Southeast Asian nation dozens of men re-enact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ by having themselves nailed to wooden crosses.

Read the whole story.

Evolutionarily speaking, monogamous men have the most children if they marry women younger than themselves. Giggity.

"Ahh, Thufur! I see they've installed your heartplug, now."

Scientists have installed holes in cows' stomachs in order to observe the di-...di...

*BLAHHHHHRCK*
*BLAHHHHHRCK*

...digestion of food. If you think this pic is disturbing, wait until you follow the link. Freaky trumps Science in the category battle on this one.

I always thought the existence of an ankle was directly proportional to the weight of the woman (Cankles vs ankles). These doctors are arguing it from a podiatrist vs. orthopedic perspective. Eh...whatever.

Dr. John Hansen is leading the charge against the FDA approved antibiotic, Ketek. It turns out that high ranking FDA officials allegedly hid the problems with forged studies by the manufacturer, Sanofi-Aventis. Now they are pulling an FAA-like flip-flop and going after them.

Remember...that's just a minivan.

UH-oh! Looks like New Jersey is jealous of all the attention that Ohio is getting with respect to voter fraud. Sequoia Voting Systems, trying to avoid becoming the real-life Delacroy, Inc. has threatened legal action against Union County and Princeton professor, Ed Felton. They were planning to perform an independant security evaluation of Sequoia's electronic voting machine. Well, the contract Union County signed with Sequoia clearly states that they aren't allowed to pay attention to the man behind the curtain and as such, the county is backing down and will now just trust Sequoia with the most important aspect of our democracy.

Good luck with that whole presidential election thing, New Jersey residents. Hopefully, Kermit the frog won't get all your electoral votes in November.

Because it keeps happening with our Oligarchical neighbor to the west, I finally created a Voting category with homage to the most corrupt state: Ohio. Ohio Bureau of Criminal Identification and Investigation has seized voting machines surrounding fraud in a local county. Initial reports show that county voting officials deactivated auditing capabilities to cover their tracks.

Voter fraud should result in execution.

Ken and Ryu have nothing on Moses and Noah. Use Jesus's kickboxing knee-blows or Mary's Holy Ascension to battle your way into the Kingdom of God...to challenge Him for the throne! Yok-TU-ki!

Even girls will shudder when they figure out where this thing goes (this should have been #1). Guys will probably pass out. Read about the other 24 Most Disturbing Sex Toys.

The onion.com couldn't have made up a better story. The first line of the article says it all.

"It's just like judging a beautiful girl," said Fowzan al-Madr, a camel breeder from the Kharj region southeast of Riyadh. "You look for big eyes, long lashes and a long neck — maybe 39 or 40 inches."

Next week from Scotland: The most beautiful SHEEP contest!

Mexican drivers are considered proficient in English, if they answer Department of Transportation test questions in Spanish. Your tax dollars at work, folks.

Now I have to admit that there would need to be visitation rights in any discussion of Gary's custody. Apparently Margareta Doughty isn't as compromising.

Here's an article that details the stories of a few people who think their tattoos were a mistake. Listen up, kiddies.

I would have to give it serious thought. Follow the link to find out why.

"Well, Mr. Weasley, they are often used by frogs as sex dolls."

In Crestwood, IL, you are guilty of abandoning your child in a car if you are more than 0 feet away from it for longer than 0 minutes. Unfortunately for Treffly Coyne, she was 30 feet away for about 5 - 10 minutes with her other kids, donating money to the Salvation Army. Now she faces up to a year in jail and a $2500 fine.

What a horrible mother.
(sarcasm off)

Someone needs to teach the Air Force's PR people about WWII history. Oops!

A great deal of aging stars in Hollywood are infected with Clostridium botulinum. This horrible bacteria can kill if injested, although the vast majority of the infections only have the side effect of making its victims appear emotionless and wooden (like the uninfected Hadyn Christiansen).

Oh yeah, it's also called Botox.

Here are the top 20 attributes of women that British men like:

The perfect woman

1. Blue eyes
2. Long blonde hair
3. Occasionally wears glasses
4. Five feet eight inches tall
5. Weighs around 9.5 stones - about 130 lbs
6. A size 12 - A US size 10
7. Good in bed
8. Earns less than £25,000 a year
9. Extremely fit
10. Very good looking
12. Wacky personality
13. Rents a house or flat
14. Optimistic
15. Owns a Ford Ka or Mazda MX5 16. Nurse or PR Executive
17. No children
18. Drinks occasionally
19. Loves clubbing
20. Non-smoker

Although Sierra is a little smaller and lighter than the ideal, we will not be traveling to England until their tastes change. Read more.

A man is in critical condition after jumping out of a moving cab in an attempt to avoid paying the fee. Don't try this at home, kids.

An eager foster kid who dreamed of serving his country since he was 7 was denied early enlistment in the Marines because the judge that presided over his application, Marilyn Mackel, doesn't support the war. By denying him entrance into the Delayed Entry Program, she has cost him a $10,000 signing bonus and the ability to choose his career in the USMC (when he enlists after his 18th birthday).

Apparently there is a special place in India in which you can have a vision of the Virgin Mary by looking at the sun. Too bad that these 50 people didn't have enough faith...they've permanently lost their vision.

New legislation that just passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives requires that students are allowed to express their religious beliefs without penalty, even if they conflict with testable scientific facts. For example:

Standard Test Question: How old is the Earth?

Student from New Jersey: 4.3 Billion Years - CORRECT
Student from California: 6000 Years - INCORRECT
Student from Oklahoma: 6000 Years because the Bible Says So - INCORRECT CORRECT due to beliefs
Student from Oklahoma: 1 hour ago with our memories artificially added by the Flying Spagetti Monster - INCORRECT CORRECT due to beliefs

As long as a student can justify his incorrect answer with religion, he will receive credit for a correct response. I believe they also approved Dueling Banjos as the new state song.

Paul...read the article and try this on your NES RIGHT NOW! The dog dies TONIGHT!

Tired of those silly parking meters in Philadelphia? Chances are 85% that you won't have to pay the ticket if you don't feed the meter. How? PA law requires that every parking meter be inspected once every three years for accuracy. Well...it turns out that since 2005, only about 2000 of 14000 were inspected. Don't feel like rolling the dice? Here is the report that lists all the meters that WERE inspected. If you know one of the 12000 or so meters that aren't on the list then you can park there and legitimately get out of a parking ticket.

The scientists found that a region of the brain known as the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, a broad portion of the front of the brain that extends to the sides, showed a slowdown in activity during improvisation.

I've always said that Jazz sucks...

Check out the reviews of the Playmobil Security Check Point:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

Read them all.

If Hollywood gets a wiff of interest, they're making a movie about it.

Check out the site to see if there's a pic of you and your girlfriend/wife.

A completely unbiased article by Philly.com promotes Philadelphia's Beer Week.

Poor Lisa Shutter was pulled over by Albany's finest because she "...fit the profile" of a white girl in a rental car who was wanted for a drug related issue. Well after illegally searching her phone and her car, the officers then proceed to search, HER VAGINA...in the middle of the street. As they were leaving, they told her she was lucky.

There were two cops involved in the alleged incident, Nick Abrams and Matthew Fargione(who's dad is a longtime friend of the police chief) but it isn't clear in the article who's finger it was that made Lisa so lucky.

Once I got it, I couldn't stop laughing...

Miley Cyrus (aka. Hanna Montana) was banned from hanging out with Lindsay Lohan because her parents feel that it would be bad for their 15 year old daughter to associate with a 21 year old alcoholic, drug addict.