A girl showed up at her sister's wedding, uninvited, and proceeded to pull the bride's hair out. I guess that's why she wasn't invited...

The Snuggie with a realistic voice over.

When Zombies hack construction signs...

If Daulton and Jordan see this, Dad will have no choice but to get one.

Jessica Simpson is a big, fat country singer. She probably should have stuck with the chicken of the sea.

Give it 35 seconds...

There are guys like this who will fuck with your accounts if you forget to logout...

This is why we make fun of you, France. Check out the article to see pictures of the "vicious" dog.

For the 18th consecutive year, Bailey is the best dog in the US. Gary is holding steady at #4 and LUCIAN has climbed to #8 (from #10 last year).

Some really needs to start stepping on those wussy Yorkshire Terriers...

Now I am all for sex education. I even think it should be ok to explain why some kids have two Dads or two Moms. But I am not quite with these researchers who think that children as young as 5 should be taught the pleasures of Gay sex. Quite frankly, the pleasures of ANY kind of sex should be a subject reserved for a "talk" many years later.

(Freaky category trumps Science on this one)

Scientists have discovered that guys are healthier if they are allowed to ogle breasts for 10 minutes a day. I think this should be brought to HR's attention IMMEDIATELY!

Sierra and I had different religious upbringings but this exchange between a local Catholic bulletin board and a local Presbyterian bulletin board show why Bailey and Gary are good Catholic dogs. See the rest of the exchange.

Socioligists are saying that if you keep comparing all your loves to that first love, you will never have a good relationship. Sorry, Claire. I will have to forget you.

Whoa!

I have found that the best way to measure the success of a Presidency is by the number of The Onion articles that were written about him during his tenure. Enjoy.

For me, a little boobage on Mary is bad taste but not offensive. But English speaking websites only seem to show that one "promo shot". I did a little snooping and found a BUNCH of Spanish articles that show what the OTHER models were doing. Oh yeah, that is a topless Virgin Mary in that pic above (I editted out the nipple, lest my ISP get mad). I guess those Chilean Catholic priests DID have good cause to get upset.

Here's a little taste.
Here's totally tasteless.

Kristina - care to translate any of this stuff?

Apparently, that's how they roll in India.

See more Random Wacky Pics.

Apparently there is a choking hazard with the Plush Uterus.

Sierra often looks at my work flowcharts and wonders why they are important. It is because they relay information in a easily understandable way. Take these flowcharts that show the differences between men and women's decision processes.

The Chilean Catholics know how to keep boys interested in religion during their adolescent years. Of course, not everyone in Chile is happy about the latest image of the Virgin Mary.

It's been a pretty busy couple of days so I haven't been posting. This should make up for it.

While Cherry 2000 is still a few years away, Japanese roboticists have been hard at work on robot receptionists that can speak 700 canned phrases. Let's have a contest guessing what the robot is saying. I'll start:

"Please wash your penis before we continue, Sayonara Son."

Starscream was literally the Terrel Owens of the Decepticons. Here are 5 perfect examples of times that Megatron should have gotten rid of him.

If you have a LOT of free time on your hands, I give you a Showtime Original Movie from 1995 called Harrison Bergeron. The story of a world where all men are not created equal, but it is the government's job to make them equal (by using devices to make smart people dumb). Of course it is based on a short story by Kurt Vonnegut which can be read in a FAR shorter time here.

Atlas Shrugged, written over 50 years ago, has been rated the second most influential book in a recent survey (beaten by only the Bible). But what is it REALLY about? It's about this shit we're going through right now: incompetant businesses getting rewarded with bailouts, redistribution of wealth in the name of fairness (why shouldn't people be able to own a house even if they can't pay for it?), and the disappearance of cunning, clever businessmen (who are the Carnegie's of today?).

Don't take my word for it, this is a Wall Street Journal article that says the same thing.

Rush Limbark and Sir Lix-a-lot rounded out last year's most unusual dog and cat names.

In case you haven't heard, a transit cop in Oakland, Johannes Mehserle, fatally shot a man, Oscar Grant, execution style while he was being restrained.



This view has a better perspective.



Did the cop mean to shoot this guy in the back? I don't think so. Although the second video shows the actual shooting clearer, the first video shows his immediate reaction. He looks completely surprised that he shot the guy. You hear all those people screaming in the videos? I am sure that the cops heard them too. No cop is crazy enough to execute a guy in front of whole bunch of witnesses.

My guess is that he thought he was shooting him with a taser for "resisting arrest." According to lots of other articles I have read on the internet, Johannes was threatening Oscar with his taser gun a little before the shooting but apparently put it away. It is possible that he mistakenly drew his gun thinking it was a taser gun (which begs the question: why are taser guns so similar to REAL guns?).

But there is something that SHOULD come out of this. Had there not been a TON of video cameras showing this, do we really think there would have been this kind of uproar? Is it be possible that the city would quietly pay off the family and the guy would be reassigned? Who knows. I think one thing is clear though. People should be ENCOURAGED to video tape cops during arrests. Because of their "authority," cops' accounts of situations will always be trusted and civilians will be suspect. The video is your tool to show the world the truth.

It should be a criminal offense for a cop to try to stop an innocent bystander from video taping an arrest from a safe distance(jackass videographers that get in the face of cops while they are doing their job deserve to lose their cameras and get arrested themselves).

On some random message board, someone asked how to survive a long distance relationship. One of the respondents revealed that she was able to do it by cheating on her boyfriend of 3 years. But she made the mistake of revealing WAY too much information...

...and one of the readers took exception to her cheating. See the entire thread (the pic at the top is pretty NSFW). It is now on Digg.com and spreading fast.

Update: Digg.com removed the article for some reason. So someone else reposted it!
Update 2: Reddit has found it and is commenting.
Update 3: Youtube has it now.
Update 4: CollegeOTR, a site no one has ever heard of, has it now.

Hopefully I will die with a cheesesteak in my mouth rather than live the extra 20 years of my life like this. See more comics about how aging sucks.

I think this quote says it all:

Rather than making Guitar Hero guitars harder or more "realistic", surely the success of Guitar Hero means that the onus is now on the manufacturers of "real" guitars to make them easier (in other words, more like the ones in Guitar Hero).

I looked for sarcasm, and it isn't there. This article is endorsing the redesign of guitars to make them more easy to play.

Snoochy Pooches!

Go Birds!

Dumbass caught red handed stealing a TV. Immortalized on the Internet.

Life imitates art...

Isn't it odd that there are so many career politicians that are millionares? How is that possible when there are only like 4 people making over $200,000 a year in salary. Well Robert has an interesting idea called the "net-worth test (halfway down the page)." It was a method invented by the IRS to convict Al Capone of tax evasion. Basically, you have some IRS bean-counters evaluate how much it takes to afford your lifestyle and if you report less than that, BAM - your evading taxes.

How do you think our elected officials would fair if the net-worth test was applied to them annually?

He also has the idea of creating "credentials" for becoming an elected official (basically a test). I like it in theory but it sounds like an awfully slippery slope to prevent a lot of people from winning office.