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Interesting rant on how the government doesn't really suck at everything...

03/23/10
The Gipper hates big government...except for the parts that he made bigger


Here is a link to a screenshot of a rant posted on www.4chan.org. The /b/ forum is general host to scat pics, sex, anti-scientology, racism and anything else that is even marginally offensive. But occasionally are these gems. Here is the text below, corrected for grammar and readability:

This morning, I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly (and) regulated by the US department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state and federal Departments of Transportation (DOT), possibly stopping to purchase fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door, I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After work, I drive my NHTSA car back on the DOT roads, to a house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshall's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables, thanks to the local police department.

I then log onto the internet which was developed by the Defence Advanced Research Projects Administration (DARPA) and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.


OK...here are some corrections/comments:

- Most weather satellites are made by private industry but REGULATED by NASA
- The FCC has WAY overstepped its authority with respect to censorship...but it is good at regulating the frequencies on which stations send their broadcasts
- The NHTSA is not the greatest example of a well run organization with the whole Toyota debacle
- The EPA doesn't regulate the quality of the fuel - that is the Department of Energy
- The Federal Reserve is a private industry and should be abolished (Go Ron Paul!)

So yeah...the government does do things right, from time to time.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Prank involving a simple but scary asian chick

03/22/10
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Happy Pie Pi Day

03/14/10
PIE = 3.14 = PIE = ...
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Dutch Nurses fight for the right to refuse sex with patients

03/12/10
Is there ANYTHING I can do for you?  Besides THAT!

Apparently Dutch nurses are sick and tired of having sex with their patients. It is so much of a problem that they setup a website for it. Too bad I didn't get sick when I was in Amsterdam...
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

Woman pays undercover cop to wack her husband...

03/09/10
The Whole Nine Yards

Because of a bitter divorce, Susan Williams allegedly tried to pay an undercover cop to beat up her (ex) husband, Peter. When she discovered that he could just be killed for the low, low price of $20k, she upgraded (allegedly). Luckily for him, his former mafia hitman/neighbor saved the day.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Teaser Trailer for the New A-Team?

03/08/10
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Ma-HER!

03/08/10


ThereHeIs.com supports mamograms. Sweet, sexy mamograms...
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

How Photoshop can improve Oscar nominees...

03/04/10
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Charlotte-Mecklenburg Animal Care and Control kills family dogs for no good reason

03/04/10
Loving dogs

Better not let your dogs out if you live in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg area. Why? Just ask Will Harlee. His dogs, Ralow and Deuce, escaped his yard through a hole in the fence and they were picked up by Charlotte-Mecklenburg Animal Care and Control. He was told that he had to fix the fence before he could have his dogs back. When he did, they told him, "Oops! So sorry, we killed those dogs." (or something like that)

Charlotte-Mecklenburg Animal Care and Control can be reached at (704) 336-7600.
Category: Shady Law
Posted by: sleze

A whole website dedicated to...THAT GUY!

03/03/10
He was MacGuyver's best friend and was some sort of general in the first episode of Quantum LeapRon Howard's brother and in a zillion movies - Apollo 13, Waterboy, Austin Powers...He played the President in Clear and Present DangerHe plays a drunk in almost every Old West bar scene - Maverick, Back to the Future 3...He's Edward Hermann speaking for the History Channel...and the head vampire in Lost BoysHe played a North Korean spy (???) in Manchurian Candidate and the bad guy in some Steven Seagal movie
"Is it too much to ask, Thunder?  Kill him, FOR ME!"I know his face...I just have no idea.  Also associated with westerns...M-M-M-Max Headroom.  He also played a time traveler on Star Trek The Next Generation"Uh...What country do you think this is?"George Costanza's boss when he worked for the Yankees.  And some other stuff...He always plays a creepy scientist or magician.


This is perhaps the best website to ever be dedicated to that guy in the movie who...you know...was in that show...or that other movie...his name is...well. It's THAT GUY! And if you think the above 12 is the whole list, you are sorely mistaken; I didn't even scratch the surface.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

"Everything the light touches...is our kingdom"

03/01/10
Behold the Lion King!
Category: Awww
Posted by: sleze

Science has proven what I already knew - 3D movies will cause your head to explode...

03/01/10
Headaches hurt!

A study at the University of California Berkeley found that 3-D movies can cause eyestrain along with headaches. Well, duh! The link also includes a list of upcoming movies that could kill you.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Pornstar or body-armor-wearer?

03/01/10
Honey, it's for your own protection...

Not only to breast implants look and feel great, they can also make you bulletproof!
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze