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Here is a link to a screenshot of a rant posted on www.4chan.org. The /b/ forum is general host to scat pics, sex, anti-scientology, racism and anything else that is even marginally offensive. But occasionally are these gems. Here is the text below, corrected for grammar and readability:
This morning, I was awoken by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly (and) regulated by the US department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state and federal Departments of Transportation (DOT), possibly stopping to purchase fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door, I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.
After work, I drive my NHTSA car back on the DOT roads, to a house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshall's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables, thanks to the local police department.
I then log onto the internet which was developed by the Defence Advanced Research Projects Administration (DARPA) and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.
OK...here are some corrections/comments:
- Most weather satellites are made by private industry but REGULATED by NASA
- The FCC has WAY overstepped its authority with respect to censorship...but it is good at regulating the frequencies on which stations send their broadcasts
- The NHTSA is not the greatest example of a well run organization with the whole Toyota debacle
- The EPA doesn't regulate the quality of the fuel - that is the Department of Energy
- The Federal Reserve is a private industry and should be abolished (Go Ron Paul!)
So yeah...the government does do things right, from time to time.
Apparently Dutch nurses are sick and tired of having sex with their patients. It is so much of a problem that they setup a website for it. Too bad I didn't get sick when I was in Amsterdam...
Because of a bitter divorce, Susan Williams allegedly tried to pay an undercover cop to beat up her (ex) husband, Peter. When she discovered that he could just be killed for the low, low price of $20k, she upgraded (allegedly). Luckily for him, his former mafia hitman/neighbor saved the day.
ThereHeIs.com supports mamograms. Sweet, sexy mamograms...
Better not let your dogs out if you live in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg area. Why? Just ask Will Harlee. His dogs, Ralow and Deuce, escaped his yard through a hole in the fence and they were picked up by Charlotte-Mecklenburg Animal Care and Control. He was told that he had to fix the fence before he could have his dogs back. When he did, they told him, "Oops! So sorry, we killed those dogs." (or something like that)
Charlotte-Mecklenburg Animal Care and Control can be reached at (704) 336-7600.
This is perhaps the best website to ever be dedicated to that guy in the movie who...you know...was in that show...or that other movie...his name is...well. It's THAT GUY! And if you think the above 12 is the whole list, you are sorely mistaken; I didn't even scratch the surface.
A study at the University of California Berkeley found that 3-D movies can cause eyestrain along with headaches. Well, duh! The link also includes a list of upcoming movies that could kill you.
Not only to breast implants look and feel great, they can also make you bulletproof!
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