See more problematic price tags.

Harvard scientists have proven that believing that you are very good, or very evil, imbues you with extraordinary physical endurance. That is why you can't be both a Jedi AND a Sith.

Salati the leopard and Tommy the dog are best friends. Gary wants a Lynx!

Excerpt:

5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

Ashley, do you concur?

Anri Suzuki is a schoolteacher that is so upset about the Japanese Rape of Naning, she offers sex to her Chinese students. If only Frau Robinson was upset about the Battle of the Bulge...

I am sorry.

Last week, I attended a conference in Orlando at a Wyndham Hotel. Although I am a Platinum member with >400k points, I decided that it would be easier to just stay at the Wyndham so that I could go back to my room between sessions and wouldn't have to drive in and out each day. Besides, Wyndhams are decent hotels, right?

WRONG - this place was a DUMP. The rugs were stained. The toilet wouldn't stop running. The Air Conditioner sounded like a jet engine. The TV's "On" button was broken (remote only). It is ironic that I discovered a Residence Inn RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET after I checked in. God, how I wish I left the room after one night.

So J.W., please forgive my indiscretion for staying at another hotel when I could have stayed at a Marriott. It won't happen again!

SLEZE

Have a good weekend, everyone.

The fun part occurs around the 40 second mark.

This is why the rest of the world doesn't take Islam seriously.

In the strict interpretation of Islam that exists in Saudi Arabia, women should never interact with men that they are unrelated to. To solve this, a fatwa was issued stating that women should breastfeed unrelated men who they interact with so that they can be considered "related." This has caused a debate among Islamic scholars (as you might imagine) regarding HOW men should receive the milk (which you NEVER would have imagined). Some think that men should drink it from a cup while the cooler scholars think men should suckle straight from the breast (NOW we're talkin!).

Sierra will never let me work in Saudi Arabia now...

Officer John Ardelean, who killed two people while driving drunk immediately after being videotaped downing 5 shots, had all major charges dropped against him when Cook County Judge Don Panarese protected him from prosecution ruled that his blood alcohol content was inadmissible in court.

Shady Law beats out Bad Cops by a hair.

Sure, the US has its share of corrupt cops but at least our cops don't run Benny Hill style away from Transvestite hookers. Someone please get Kristina to translate this in the comments section.

Always bet on Nefer (and yes, I want to strangle the cameraman too).

If you look closely, you will see that there are actually *4* girls in this photo. See more boob related illusions.

Stifler's Mom was unavailable for comment. No seriously, that is what the headline reads.