Because of a bitter divorce, Susan Williams allegedly tried to pay an undercover cop to beat up her (ex) husband, Peter. When she discovered that he could just be killed for the low, low price of $20k, she upgraded (allegedly). Luckily for him, his former mafia hitman/neighbor saved the day.

You may have seen this fight on Youtube. In it you see a young black man and an old (67 years old) white guy exchange words and then get into a fight. The fight consisted of the black guy cold cocking the white guy and the white guy knocking him out like DEBO. Below is an interview with the somewhat crazy hero.

APN is a liberal website in much the same way that Faux Fox News is a conservative news channel. Its status was reinforced by an email explaining the reasons it fired staff writer, Jonathan Springston.

"He held on to the notion that there was an objective reality that could be reported objectively, despite the fact that that was not our editorial policy at Atlanta Progressive News. It just wasn’t the right fit."

So Jonathan believed that news reporting should be objective and that is not APN's policy. Yellow Journalism has returned!

No no. That's the story. A gorilla escaped. I just couldn't resist the Waterboy reference.

Latest intel on the so-called War on Terror has found that terrorists are using explosive breast implants to hide bombs. Being a TSA agent at the airport just got a whole lot more fun.

Watch my boss trounce the Republicans at their own meeting. Supposedly he did so well that Faux Fox News cut the debate off 20 minutes before it ended. I would love for someone to corroborate that assertion.

Update: Thing Progress (although it is also a left-wing, commie, pinko website) has the proof that Faux Fox News cut away in the middle of the exchange.

After his recent release from jail, 100 year old pedophile Mr. Herbert Theodore Sypnier is heading back to jail for violating the terms of his parole (by not showing up for counseling).

Angel, the heroic golden retriever, saved an 11 year old kid from being attacked by a cougar (the animal version, not a nympho old lady). He ran and got help and the police showed up and killed the cougar. She suffered puncture wounds but is doing OK - and probably dined on steak that night.

Did you hear about the tons of toxic waste that was illegally dumped off the Ivory Coast? No? That's because the company responsible allegedly responsible used the UK's draconian censorship laws to sue the BBC to erase the article from existence. Luckily, Wikileaks has all the redacted information about Trafigura and their alleged toxic waste dumping shenanigans. It's also still available on Google cache.

The Service Employees International Union of Allentown, PA is up in arms over Kevin Anderson's Eagle Scout project to clear a path in a local park. The article goes on to paraphrase Nick Balzano, president of the local SEIU, as basically saying that "No one except union members may pick up a hoe or shovel, plant a flower or clear a walking path."

There was no word as to whether Kevin has found a horse head in his bed yet.