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Unreal

04/29/06
I meant to write a piece of the Flyers game (and i will tomorrow) but what the Texans did is so unbelievably stupid that it takes priority. I don't even know what to say, i'm mostly horrified for Houston fans who have to deal with a disaster of a franchise in a great football market (There is not group of people more opposite to me than Texans, but even i respect their love for football).

Despite having 4 top ten picks in 5 years (the fith year they had the 16th pick), the team has show little to know improvement. Their problems, poor offensive line, inconsistent defense, no development from David Carr, seem clear to everyone BUT the brass in Houston.

And not drafting Bush makes a mess of all the mock drafts. Assuming the Saints don't trade the second pick, they will probably have to take either D'Brickashaw Ferguson or Vernon Davis (i like Davis here actually, its way to high for him, but i think he is a perfect fit for New Orleans and Drew Brees. If they trade out of the spot and drop a little they may still be able to get him).
The Saints say they will take Bush, but than they would probably have to trade Deuce McAllister, and most likely get 75 cents to the dollar for him. Ugh i can't even look at the board because of the mess this makes

Ideally, The Saints will swap with the packers, move to the fifth spot, where they can choose between Ferguson, Davis, or even AJ Hawk (WAY to high for a white linebacker if you ask me). The Packers draft Bush, Favre has a HUGE year (but still throws double digit interceptions). Than the Titans take Leinart (i prefer young for the Titans, but i really think Norm Chow will get his way), followed by the Jets taking Feguson, the Saints take Hawk or Davis, the niners take the other player. Thats the best i can guess, its probably way wrong. [ Read More ]
Category: Philly Bias
Posted by: santo

C is for Cookie...the MOVIE!

04/28/06

Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Robot Fine Art

04/28/06
What if we were all robots...would art look like this?

The Da Vinci Code was written in assembly
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Are you color blind?

04/28/06
If you don't know, here's how to tell. If you are color blind, these pics will look pretty much the same

Fuck the color blind

If you think this is as hysterical as I do, support the site and buy a tee-shirt with it by clicking here.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Santo discussing rides to the bar for his birthday...

04/27/06
Santo - "Paul, you can just give me a ride there; I will take the ambulance home..."

For reference, look at pictures from his 21st birthday last year.

Software Patent Abuse Part 5798459

04/27/06
Here is yet another case of a company with money harassing a little guy to stop GIVING his product away for free. Apparently, a company called KAM sells software that interfaces between model railroads and your computer. There is also Ben Jacobsen that gives away software that does the same thing AND it is open source. Well KAM sent him an invoice for $200,000 saying that because of his infringement on their patents, he owes them $30/user of his software.

But it turns out his software predates their patents by 6 months.
Category: Tech
Posted by: sleze

This sign should be everywhere bushes are...

04/27/06
Guys always need to be reminded...
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

You kids are all spoiled with your .jpgs and .pngs

04/27/06
Back in MY day, all we had were letters and numbers to make computer art.

old school images
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

How to speak Engrish

04/26/06
Here's a video on how young Japanese girls learn how to speak Engrish

Category: Japan
Posted by: sleze

New Diet: Eat just under 6500 calories a day - lose weight!

04/26/06
Of course you need a few pre-requesit medical conditions like pyloric stenosis to qualify. The new diet's spokesmodel weighs 101 pounds. Sign up today!
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

I *LOVE* eating at the pink taco (wink)(wink)

04/26/06
But apparently, people in Arizona don't want you to eat there.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

I am not anti-immigrant...I am anti-ILLEGAL-immigrant

04/25/06
Here's a fun game to get in the spirit of closing the border. Before you crucify me for being racist or nationalist or whatever, just know that being in computer science, like 60% of my fellow grad students are immigrants. EVERY one that I have talked to is against the presence of ILLEGAL aliens.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Find your ideal sleeping pose

04/25/06
Here are the results from my quiz (the genders are reversed but it is pretty damned close to my favorite):

I am a excalibur!
Find your own pose!

Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

(PLEASE ADD TITLE)

04/25/06
We all have guilty pleasures. They hide in Ben and Jerry's containers in the freezer, or on DVD shelves between the Godfather and Pulp Fiction, where you'll find Jeepers Creepers 2 or A Knights Tale. Sometimes the guilty pleasures manifest themselves at the worst t ime, like when you get into your car with friends and realize you left the Avril Lavigne CD in the player, blasting on 11.

I'm not talking about cult favorites like Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Star Wars, i'm talking Charmed reruns on TNT after Law and Order, you know the type of television show you click off real fast when someone walks into the room like it was porno. And in reality, you wish it was, because at least you could explain that (its been awhile). There is no explaining singing and dancing at a red light to "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys.

So i'll save everyone the trouble of walking in on me at the wrong time, (That time being sunday night from about 9:00-11:00 i don't know the actual schedule, because i am just attracted by some mysterious force to flip on VH1]

I love "so noTORIous" starring Tori Spelling. (continued by clicking the more button, its called a hook kids) [ Read More ]
Category: Philly Bias
Posted by: santo

Monkey Love Art

04/24/06
This post is dedicated to Jay Fenner

Jay as President
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

I always thought that Dave Wilson and Jeff Ambury were the kings of beirut

04/24/06
...until I saw THESE pong shots. (remember that the game is Beirut. "Beer Pong" is played on a ping pong table with paddles)
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Georgia wants to Burn Harry Potter Books

04/24/06
This crazy-Christian lady wants to ban Harry Potter books, which she has never read, because they promote demonic activity. Don't let Sierra get a hold of her...

HARRY POTTER IS THE DEVIL!!
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Now I get to be a Web Nazi...

04/23/06
Potential Halloween costume?

Well...the good news is that my traffic has just jumped quite a bit (even before Santo went online with his Villanovan articles). The bad news is that some of it is now from spammers that are posting links to their websites in my comments sections. They do this so that when google searches my page, they get references from me(which raises their page ranks on google.com).

Bottom line is that a shitload of IP addresses got banned and now if you post a comment, you need to type in the letters in the picture below the text box (it is technology called captcha).

So don't forget that when it doesn't seem to let you post comments.
Category: Administrative
Posted by: sleze

Philly Bias

04/21/06
Now, our roundball attention returns to the rotting corpse laying flat on the hardwood of the Wachovia Center where we once rushed, danced, and gave CPR to a dying sport in Philadelphia. The Sixers have been caught between changing eras, after lameduck coaches Randy Ayers and Chris Ford (ooh, that might get me in some trouble with the Alumni committee) Jim O’Brien brought a tougher defense, and a stagnant offense. Result? Boring team, quick exit to the Pistons in the playoffs.

This season, Maurice Cheeks created a more up-tempo style, relying on the play making ability of Allen Iverson, who averaged more points (33) and more assists (over seven) than the season he won the MVP. Result? Brief bouts of exciting scoring, followed by soul-sucking fourth quarter leads blown because the team doesn’t have the talent to keep up when the opposition plays defense, and doesn’t play enough defense to protect a lead.

I'll finish this post later, but i figured proof that im going to be actually writing more sports stuff in this space should be enough.....and i'll be editing and adding to a lot of stuff. Make sure to click the more button, cause all my stuff is long and i can't post it all or Eric will kill me... [ Read More ]
Category: Philly Bias
Posted by: santo

Random IM chat

04/21/06
I wanted to have something posted that was unpublished (or in this case unpublishable) but i had my thesis due today. I still found time for this catastrophe however, which is documented evidence that my thesis ruined my mind and i am now clinically insane
4:00am after i finished my thesis. oscr457: mg its jesse and her caffeine addictuion, right?

Vertigo972: zack encourages cheating
Vertigo972: its called "jesse's song"
Vertigo972: (look it up
Vertigo972: )
Vertigo972: and bow to my vast knowlege of all things
Vertigo972: jesse you're a big dyke
Vertigo972: slater you're a meathead brillo mullet moron
Vertigo972: kelly you are a goddess and lisa i'd bang you and than
never talk to youi again
oscr457: wow, you're quite the saved by the bell slut

......if you read it while watcing the episode (im so excited, im so excited, im so scared) it sinks up like dark side of the moon and wizard of oz [ Read More ]
Category: Humor
Posted by: santo

In a few years, this guy will be REALLY popular with the ladies

04/21/06
His tongue is over twice as long as the average tongue. Right now it amuses his buddies. Soon it will amuse a long list of ladies.
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

Don't expose Floridian Police shortcomings

04/21/06
Back in February, a CBS undercover report exposed the problems with trying to get a complaint form from many Floridian police stations. Well, now the reporter in charge of the investigation has his personal information posted on a police website with a "Be on the Lookout for" heading, as if he were now a criminal.

Hopefully my posting of this won't have them looking for me, Frank Iosue.
Category: Bad Cops
Posted by: sleze

What Makes Life 100%?

04/21/06
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. [ Read More ]
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

What happens when you are decapitated?

04/20/06
I know you have ALL wondered. Well here is some anecdotal evidence. Sounds like it is time for some real scientific trials. Now all I need to do is find some willing hobo's.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Parody of the superball commercial

04/20/06
Remember the 250,000 superball commercial that I linked to way-back-when? Well Battlefield 2 has a parody of it.

Here is the real Ad:



Here is the BattleField2 Ad:

Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Philly Bias

04/20/06
TO: David Montgomery (cheapskate@phillies.com), Pat Gillick (standpat@phillies.com), Philadelphia Fans (whendotheEaglesstart?@phillies.com)

FROM: Santo “The Scout (not the crappy Brendan Fraser movie, the type that recognizes talent)” Caruso (santo.caruso@villanova.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: Marlin Fishin’

Hey guys, haven’t come back from Florida yet, and by the 5-7 start it looks like you’re still at spring training too. But like Jimmy Buffet says, “weather is here, wish you were beautiful.”

With that said, I got a chance to catch the best minor league team around and boy are they loaded with talent. A shortstop with five tool skills that could make him the next Derek Jeter, a third basemen who looks like a poor man’s Albert Pujols and a lefty starter that has Cy Young potential and he’s only 24!!!
[ Read More ]
Category: Philly Bias
Posted by: santo

Ladies and Gentleman...I give you...SANTO

04/19/06
THI is glad to welcome our new opinions contributor, Santo.

Breaking the seal on news

I am sure he will dazzle us with his class and razor sharp wit.
Category: Administrative
Posted by: sleze

Nerds Make Better Lovers

04/19/06
Paul keeps asking how I have a girlfriend. Well here's how.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Why people don't like religious zealots

04/19/06
Yes yes...muslim fundamentalists kill people with suicide bombs. But Christian fundamentalists can be JUST as scary.

Check it out.

Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Possible "surprise" endings to the new Samuel L. Jackson film

04/19/06
Scenario One

Samuel L. Jackson discovers a new superbreed of snake, developed by the United States military, on board the plane. Quickly realizing that this snake could destroy the world, and knowing he would rather die than risk bringing this monster to the mainland, he decides to crash the plane into an offshore nitroglycerin plant.

...

Read More.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

The Polly awards are out!

04/18/06
College campuses (should it be campi?) have been busily jostling for placement in this year's Political Correctness award. This year's big winner is Yale for admitting former Taliban ambassador, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi, in the name of diversity (apparently Yale thinks the Taliban view on women's rights was A-OK). WTG Yale!
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

The new UK FBI logo reminds me of something

04/18/06
Tell me what YOU think...

SOCA...ROAR!!!
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Finally a good use for cats

04/18/06
meoOOWWW!

Better than drowning them?
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Cool graffiti animation

04/17/06
This guy painted different parts of an animation all over a city and took pics of them. Then he compiled it into this animation clip. Pretty cool.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Ever wanted a venus fly trap?

04/17/06
Well...now you can buy 10 meat eating plants for $21.

Feed Me Seymor!
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Easter Pics up

04/14/06
Wait, what? How are pics of Easter going up on Good Friday? It must be a miracle...

Don't mess with my Easter Party
Category: Photo Updates
Posted by: sleze

New Chevy Ad

04/14/06
You're probably not going to see either of these ads on TV anytime soon.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

The absurdity of English

04/14/06
No no...not English people...the English Language. Check out these poems...

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose

Read More.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Leaked DC Comic Memo on Superman's Vision Power

04/14/06
I appears that back in the day, the extent of Superman's vision powers was in question.

...

I realize that the initial justification for creating the Visions — "It's fun to draw beams coming from his eyes" — is a valid one, and has certainly contributed to artist morale. Heat Vision, X-Ray Vision, Telescopic Vision, and even Microscopic Vision are well and good, and have, in any event, become firmly associated with the character. However, it seems that in recent issues, certain authors have taken to adding Visions in a haphazard and even whimsical fashion. For example:

...

Read More.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Not to be confused with the Canadian Clay and Glass Gallery

04/13/06
Crack kills
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Canadians as dumb as Americans?

04/13/06
Well here we go again. Apparently a grant proposal investigating the detriment of Creationism on the theory of evolution was rejected because the grant writer could not produce enough evidence proving the theory of evolution is real.

Touched by his noodly appendage

I guess they should have included the Flying Spagetti Monster in their proposal to be fair.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

New additions to the photo album

04/13/06
I just added a bunch of photos of me and Sierra (including recently found photos from the Philadelphia Car Show back in February).
Category: Photo Updates
Posted by: sleze

Those crazy Europeans will do anything to sell butter

04/12/06
Butter isn't just for rubbing on bread...
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Scientists Prove the obvious

04/12/06
Popular Science reports on the scientists that spend lots of money on proving common sense things like: Smoking costs money.

Smoking is bad?  NO SHIT!
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Study done on sex in MRI's

04/12/06
Yeah...You read that correctly. There was a study done where subjects would have sex in an MRI and pics were taken.

Is that what I think it is?

Who can identify the penis?
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Man battles alligator with broom

04/11/06
The broom was not enough to defeat the 4 foot reptile, so he switched to a garden hose (too close for missiles, switching to guns).

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with John Shirey:

John - "When I was a kid, I found a large snapping turtle in a pond and we fought for like 3 hours."

Me - "3 hours? Did it get away?"

John - "That's its shell right there on the wall."
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

A street named after the Abner Louima incident?

04/11/06
Janitorial Sodomy

Or maybe it is in Arizona and named in honor of Clifton Bennett.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

I AM THE MASTER OF DISGUISE

04/11/06
Recognize the guy in these photos?

so SAAWWY!KahmehameHA!

I DETEST himOld man, look at my life...I'm a lot like you were...

Here's how I made them.
Category: Photo Updates
Posted by: sleze

Monkey trained to control robotic arm with his brain

04/10/06
So what does it do? It uses the arm to throw monkey shit at the researchers.
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

What's the big deal with babies?

04/10/06
If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's hearing about how hard it is to have a baby. I hate to break the news to you, but people have been having babies for literally billions of years...

Read More.
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

Tom and Jerry...Zionist propaganda?

04/10/06
Well here's a new one. Following in the footsteps of his Christian counterpart, Jerry Falwell, a senior cultural advisor in Iran's Education Ministry says that the Tom and Jerry cartoon is Jewish propaganda. Apparently Jerry, the mouse, represents the cute and cuddly Jews.

And I always thought that Tom was Jewish

"It should be noted that mice are very cunning ... and dirty."
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Prayer doesn't help healing

04/07/06
In fact, according to this study published in the American Health Journal, some people who were prayed for actually did worse in heart bypass surgery. Maybe they were praying to the wrong god...

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeennnnnnnn.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

GREATEST HOCKEY FIGHT EVER!

04/07/06
I know this is a VERY bold statement (considering the Flyers once fought the Canadians BEFORE THE GAME STARTED) but you HAVE to watch this video if you like hockey violence...err...I mean "family entertainment".


Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

Donkeys are better than wives

04/07/06
According to a textbook in India, donkeys are better than wives in many, many areas.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Husband on Strike

04/06/06
This husband's wife keeps her 3 month old and 2 year old in bed with them at night. Now he is on strike on top of their house. Now, I don't know about the 3 month old. Perhaps the kid should be in a bassinet next to the bed or something but the 2 year old needs to be in his on room WITHOUT a pacifier.
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Yet another reason why Unions suck

04/06/06
It is well known that if you decide to not use Union labor in Philadelphia for ANY reason, they will protest the job site. Just ask MTV. Well this is a new one. The plumbers union in Philadelphia is against the use of waterless urinals in the building of the Comcast building. While it will save millions of gallons of water per year, it will mean less pipes and as a result, less work for them.

Vote UNION! Fuck the environment!
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

Magazine cover contest

04/05/06
Category: Entertainment
Posted by: sleze

7 ways to identify bullshit science

04/05/06
This is a terrific article on pseudo-science.

....

3. The scientific effect involved is always at the very limit of detection. Alas, there is never a clear photograph of a flying saucer, or the Loch Ness monster. All scientific measurements must contend with some level of background noise or statistical fluctuation. But if the signal-to-noise ratio cannot be improved, even in principle, the effect is probably not real and the work is not science.

....

Read More.
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

How to overcome Islamic sexism? Get a sex change!

04/05/06
5 women got sex changes in Saudi Arabia so that they would be allowed to vote and drive a car all by themselves. What a great society!

She's a MAN, Baby!
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

This is a once in a Millenium kind of moment...

04/04/06
Ok...this is a wierd way of saying this sentence so bear with me. Tomorrow morning at 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1am, the date and time(in the US) will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06

How about THEM apples?
Category: Freaky
Posted by: sleze

An Open Letter to President Bush

04/04/06
David M. Bresnahan
April 4, 2006

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the USA border into Mexico, and I need to make some arrangements. [ Read More ]
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze

New initiative to improve boys' aim

04/03/06
Make peeing fun!
Category: News
Posted by: sleze

How to make a dragon...genetically

04/03/06
Category: Science
Posted by: sleze

Peter Pan Fashion Page

04/03/06
Yet another brilliant contribution from Frank. I present the world's first peter pan fashion model.

I'm FINE thanksforASKING!
Category: Humor
Posted by: sleze