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The Perfect Gift for Paul or Jeremy

06/25/08
Urine stain sold separately

The Big Lebowski is now on par with G.I. Joe. Only $24.99! Order now!
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Behold the 6 foot, $499 ethernet cable

06/24/08
Wanna buy a bridge?

The Denon AKDL1 guarantees superior digital music quality and costs $499. Of course, digital signals are all the same. If you get any signal, it is the best signal. But leave it to internet geeks to make the most of it with their reviews:

"A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews."

"The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office."


Read all the reviews.
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Highly Rated TSA approved toy

03/07/08
Take off your play-bra

Check out the reviews of the Playmobil Security Check Point:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

Read them all.
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Spongebob Squarepants Rectal Thermometer

02/25/08
MR CRABS!  THIS isn't how you treat Bikini Bottom!

Tired of those annoying Spongebob shows playing on your TV? Just buy one of these rectal thermometers and I GUARANTEE your kid will get over the pineapple under the sea VERY quickly.
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

How NOT to run a promotion

01/25/08
What do you mean you don't use a guitar?

A guy won the Lollapalooza ‘Last Band Standing’ competition and part of his prize package included $10k in Gibson music equipment. Well, he won in 2006 and STILL hasn't received his prize, thanks to Don Pitts. I know that Citizen's Bank promotions scoffs at such shoddy work. Gianmarc! Burn your Gibsons in protest!
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Just don't ever order anything from a website in Brooklyn

01/11/08
Speak wit Tony in customa service.  Aaight?

Brooklyn used to be a haven for shady online CAMERA stores that would sell you a dirt cheap camera and then try to sell you the batteries for $150, the manual for $200, etc (and if you refused, your camera would go mysteriously out of stock). Well it looks like the same guy who handled customer service at the camera shops has moved on to NVWDirect.com (who sells high-def TVs).

So my advice is to just never buy anything online if the store is located in Brooklyn.
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Why is this pen so extraordinary?

12/25/07
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Shh! The secret gift I got for Sierra...

12/21/07
Stick it in long and hard...pull it out shrivelled and short...well just short
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Jesus Sells Out

12/11/07
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

Do your pants come in a LARGER size?

12/10/07
Category: Stuff
Posted by: sleze

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