Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. Pre-order it now at Amazon.com. No seriously, it is a real book.

This is the Dr. Claw action figure released in 1992. It is near the top of my life's worst let-downs. Matthew Broderick is no longer the worst thing about Inspector Gadget.

In another showing of how "Iranian women are the most equal in the world," Iran is planning on building cars made specially for women.

Click here to see artists' renderings of what this new car might look like.

Since Sierra won't let me add this to our official registry, I am adding the Beer-Belly Deluxe here. Is there a better way to spend $50? It comes with the "pleasure extender"! So what if it looks like the fake pregnancy vests.

Turns out that Whitney lives in a battleground state in the Pop vs. Soda debate. Here's an examination of the data.

The Big Lebowski is now on par with G.I. Joe. Only $24.99! Order now!

The Denon AKDL1 guarantees superior digital music quality and costs $499. Of course, digital signals are all the same. If you get any signal, it is the best signal. But leave it to internet geeks to make the most of it with their reviews:

"A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews."

"The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office."

Read all the reviews.

Check out the reviews of the Playmobil Security Check Point:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

Read them all.

Tired of those annoying Spongebob shows playing on your TV? Just buy one of these rectal thermometers and I GUARANTEE your kid will get over the pineapple under the sea VERY quickly.

A guy won the Lollapalooza ‘Last Band Standing’ competition and part of his prize package included $10k in Gibson music equipment. Well, he won in 2006 and STILL hasn't received his prize, thanks to Don Pitts. I know that Citizen's Bank promotions scoffs at such shoddy work. Gianmarc! Burn your Gibsons in protest!